Relationship Marketing - more than just birthday cards
Written by Shirley Lichti for The Record, August 21, 2002

I must be getting old and cranky. I know I'm getting old because I recently celebrated another birthday. One of the birthday cards I received came from my life insurance agent. And that’s what made me cranky.

It seems birthdays have become an event for some marketers to engage in a bit of relationship marketing. Sending cards lets their clients know they are thinking about them and, hopefully, strengthens the relationship. But not all clients want a relationship with everyone they do business with.

While I quite liked the agent who originally sold me my policy, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really care if he remembered my birthday. I also knew his card was sent more because his database was set up to remind him to do it than because he was paying special attention to me.

So when he left the company and Matt was assigned as my new agent, I told him not to bother sending birthday cards. For whatever reason, Matt ignored this request. Each year when it arrived, I shook my head and sent the card straight to the recycling bin.

When this year’s card arrived, I not only shook my head, I scratched it, too. The salutation was written in a different style of handwriting than the signature, which told me an assistant had prepared the card, then passed it on to the agent for signing.

Not exactly a personal touch from someone who is trying to strengthen a relationship.

The signature on the card said “Peter.” And he must have been pretty happy because he drew a little happy face by his name as well. The problem is, I didn’t have a clue who Peter was.

If my agent had changed since my last birthday, I had not been informed. Needless to say, the card did nothing but confuse and irritate me.

Relationship marketing is a communication process. To do it well, you must understand your customer needs and wants, and then determine how to satisfy them.

To appreciate relationship marketing, think about small town grocery stores. In the town where I grew up, my parents shopped at a family-owned grocery store, Murray’s. I fondly remember always being greeted warmly by Betty, Bob, or Jim Murray. They were genuinely interested in what was happening in our lives, understanding our needs, and providing us with products we wanted. We liked them and wanted to have a relationship with them.

Too often today, companies think the first step in establishing a relationship with customers is to call them by name. I don’t know about you, but I’m really don’t like it when a store clerk thanks me for my purchase by name, usually mispronouncing it to boot, having quickly read the name off my credit card.

As I said earlier, relationship marketing is about communication. The communication process should create a dialogue that builds trust and an ongoing relationship with customers.

That means you need to listen as much as you need to talk. Relationships are based on trust. Listening is key to building trust. Customers are much more inclined to trust those who show respect for them and listen to what they have to say.

What does this mean for your own business?

Since having a relationship means different things to different people, start by finding out what your customers want. How would they like to be communicated with? How often? Is it appropriate for everyone in the organization to call clients by their first names?

For example, I really appreciate the fact that the tellers at my bank know me and call me by my first name. But it would feel strange to have bank officials I’ve never met use the same approach.

After you thoroughly understand customer needs, develop strategies for communicating with each person.

Rather than bombard customers with promotional materials, a relationship marketing approach requires that communications with customers are meaningful to them.

Not all customers will want a relationship or to be communicated with in the same manner. You need to understand and respect this.

After all, you probably don't want the same kind of relationship with the company that provides your gasoline loyalty program as with the company that holds your financial portfolio.

Relationship marketing works because it gets back to basics. It focuses on people and emotions. It works because it treats customers like human beings, not just records in a database. We buy from people we like. And relationship marketing builds feelings of trust, goodwill, and respect.

Relationship marketing is not a quick fix, nor a simple marketing tactic. It's a strategy. And done well, it’s one of the most effective you can employ.

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